Dreamt of him again last night and I remember that I (while in the dream) thought it was real when he asked me out but then suddenly I realised I was dreaming and my heart just sunk. Then afterwards he just disappeared from my dream and I was searching so hard for him…thought I already let go but maybe I just haven’t.
I know I’m not one of those girls that will be in the centre of attraction. I’ll just be overlooked and probably no one will ever be amused or entertained by me. I mean, it really sucks when you are surrounded by pretty friends that get all the attention and you’re just the person in the background, probably non existent in other people’s eyes.
It’s hard but what can I do/say?
Everyone’s cheering the end of As but…I’m really worried for my results. No matter how much I study, it doesn’t seem to pay off for the papers. I feel like slapping myself really. One chance and I couldn’t even grab all the marks I could. Im really really v worried I’ll have to retake (which would just suck a hell lot) because I have absolutely ZERO confidence. I know people might say there’s no use worrying because what’s done is done but I really don’t want to let my parents and teachers down. They’ve been constantly so encourage and helpful and always so supportive, it would hurt me so much if I couldn’t live up to their expectations. Im really really praying that I won’t do so bad…I would cross my fingers a million times if it helps.
Just give me a decent score. I don’t need to top anything but just give me a decent score. I definitely know I’ve worked hard but pls don’t tell me that it’s all for nothing. Pretty please.
I’m do kinda regret taking a step back instead of continueing because I just knew the feeling wasn’t mutual. But then if I didn’t do that, we wouldn’t be strangers like we are now. (Ok maybe not total strangers but there’s not much difference anyway) Honestly I wouldn’t mind being just good friends but looking at how we are now….it’s kinda awkward yea.
Thankyou for that movie treat for my
birthday that was really one of the happiest days ever. But anyway I’m just tired of yearning for something that mnay never come true. Even though it’s a 50% chance that it’s possible, I just am really confuse about what I am to you. I should prolly let go of it. I wanted to leave it to fate, like if our feelings were mutual, you would still try to reach out to me even though I retreated. But no, you didn’t.
It’s ok. Maybe I’m wrong but oh well.
Favorite photos of Le Château de la Belle au Bois Dormant (sources on the photos)
I know i was too naive to believe in it right from the start when it was just nothing. And now I feel so stupid and weak for being like that. I really don’t know why am I feeling like this but I just do.
I just feel so empty - not entire sad but not entire happy. Omg no I need to get over this shit. No matter now nice he is or I perceive him to be, NO. I’m only gonna get myself hurt in the end.
asdfghjklzxcv what was i thinking.